So I am completely in every way trying to not be a complete bridezilla, difficult, indecisive or over dramatic. In many ways I like to think that I am succeeding in this task I guess you would really have to talk to Ryan or some of my friends about that. Since the first moment that I started planning the big day(about 6 minutes after I said yes to Ryan) there were many things I knew that I wanted for sure. My colours were set nearly 27 years ago. :-p Flowers I wanted gardenia’s and lilacs even if they don’t perfectly fit in with my colours. Bridal party small just one attendant each and flower girl and ring bearer. Hair in a simple elegant low ponytail to the left side with gardenias bunched at the base. The reception a relaxed feel with a community/familial twist to it, including a potluck dinner. There is one thing that interrupts this harmonious plan, the dress!
It’s not about money or which designer or finding one that is prefect cause I am making my own. It’s all about which way to go, Contemporary or Victorian. I really want a dress that is dramatic and says something and makes people go “WOW” and I know I can do this either style. Really what it comes down to is what do I want my wedding dress to mean to me. Is it just something glamorous and over the top to be stored away until I get sick of it then punted over to some op shop for some artist to buy it and do something with it. Or do I want something more “classic” looking that I might be able to save for my own daughter one day to wear, maybe with a few adjustments and such but still passed down maybe even down to my granddaughter. It is this that has me fractured, while I know that I would love the Victorian gown no one else is likely to want to wear it after me, and I think that is what puts me off. I really want a dress that has the potential to become a heirloom for the generations to come after me, I can still take inspiration from the Victorian era but in a much more modern and contemporary style that also has a look of classic and undateable elegance.
One Comment, Comment or Ping
Just a note on the heirloom wedding dress concept–my mother wore her mother’s wedding dress, and I seriously considered it myself. So, a few notes from experience on what makes for a good heirloom:
1. High-quality fabric is the most important part. Will it age well? Yellow? (This was the main reason I didn’t wear my grandmother’s dress–it was white for her, ivory for my mother, and a lovely light gold by now, that just doesn’t flatter me.)
2. Just because your descendant wears your dress, it doesn’t mean she’ll wear exactly the same dress. My grandmother’s dress had a VERY long train. My mother cut off 3′ of it so it would be a moderate train. They were very gracious to me, and offered to let me remove the sleeves and alter the neckline for more comfort in the summer. It would have been nice to have a hem that could be let down, as I’m an inch taller than my grandmother.
So, look at the lines of your Victorian dress. What if you cut off the sleeves, and altered the neckline? What would it look like? There might be a whole new dress hiding inside that your descendant would love–and it might give her a lot more flexibility to simultaneously express her own style and honor her past than a more scanty modern dress. (You can always cut down, but not up)
February 4th, 2009
Reply to “The Great Dress Conflict of ‘09!”